Its happy Valentines Day today, but is it for you?
As the media and the shops bombard us with Valentine’s Day offerings, I thought I would be of help to those who are struggling to maintain the love in their relationships.
It’s usually all good/mushy in what’s known as the honeymoon period. The first 3 months, or 6 if you only see each other on the weekends.
Then there is the 7-year itch, where we have tuned out and are now tuning into someone else.
Then there are those who have separated or divorced.
Then there is often the carnage, the fallout, the hurt with the kids, family and friends.
How to avoid this suffering and stay in love….
1. Learn your partner’s ‘love languages.’ It’s no use buying her just roses, when her main love language isn’t gifts, but quality time together.
They are here for you to learn –
· Words of affirmation,
· Quality time,
· Receiving gifts,
· Acts of service,
· Physical touch
https://5lovelanguages.com/ - by Gary Chapman
2. Learn your partner’s fight or hurt language. What do they do when they are upset?
· Slam doors
· Walk away
· Yell, throw things
· Put you down
· Give you the silent treatment
· Withdraw their affection, say a big no to sex
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kel4dxHoX6Q – by Jay Shetty
Don’t let “I didn’t know” get in the way of lasting love. It takes effort. Sustained effort. Learn about them, but how can we understand others if we first don’t understand ourselves.
Open honest, often raw communication is essential. We can always work on it if we choose to.
I have learnt the hard way, (many relationships and 20 years of studying human behaviour) that we can never have enough self-awareness or communicate the best all the times. Be kind with yourself and your partner.
May you create the life with the love you desire and deserve.
If this article resonates with you and you would like some support. Reach out.